If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
