thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
