Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
