im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
