is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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