This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
