false alarm. still invincible.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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