i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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