So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
