addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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