why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
