fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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