you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Randomize
