So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
