Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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