i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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