i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
