He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
