i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
