i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
