You're so nebulous sometimes
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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