whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
