im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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