The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Randomize
