Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
