peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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