Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
