is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
it was like having sex with a tree stump
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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