I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I would fuck him just for his dog
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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