Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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