if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize