oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
