If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
