it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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