There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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