You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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