I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Randomize
