oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
