yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
