i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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