grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
