do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
