I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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