Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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