well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
