i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
