I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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