I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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