What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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