Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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