this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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