This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize