just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Randomize
