Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
