Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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