Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
